merry christmas merry christmas.

yea rite.

just came back frm a bbq. frankly, i didn enjoy it at all. firstly it was drizzling non-stop the whole time. half the time we were just trying to keep ourselves try whle fumbling wif the tongs. food was not bad. too much food actually. oh well. just didn have the mood at all la.

and i really agree wif wad father boscow said earlier in the sunday mass. Christmas is jus a modern delusion everyone perceives it to be.

like wad he said. the poor only feels even poorer during christmas. he sees people carrying bags and bags of presents and gifts. and he sits there all alone. dun even have the money to fight his hunger pangs. what is christmas to him? nonsense.

and also. christmas is a time where SATAN reigns above everyone the most. just rearrange the letters SANTA. wad do u get? SATAN. u see santa u think abt santa u want santa to really exist and give u all his hahaload of goodies. what actually is all these? isn it SATAN's devilish grip? im not trying to play the devil's advocate here but isn this all true if u ask urselves this question. SANTA is just one whole big nonsense that misleads people. Christmas is just the day when Christ was born. and now its so damn commercialized there isn any place for GOD and JESUS anymore.

oh and yea. christmas is also the time when people devoid of love jus feels the pain even more. if it isn worse enough alrd, just take a look at every single person u see in town. it just brings more agony to that person. and u ask, why dun u stay at home in the first place? hoho if staying at home hogging the computer all day long would help counter against that feeling, i mean, who wouldn? ahh everything is just not right for me la.

i tink i jus pissed someone off. and im rly rly sry but nth i say now can amend for wad i jus did la. super regret this whle ting. didn noe why i tink tis way in the first place. but wads done is done. dno wad i can do now. GIMME SOME DIRECTIONS GOD>

ah tink i jus nid some time to chill. prolly aft a few days im back to my old self. then everything shall jus be a memory and i'll live to regret it one day.and maybe one day i'll finally get what i want. one day. just one day. and im sure that day will come. LOL. what nonsense. ah whatever.
woah i really cant recollect my thoughts alrd. im just thinking too much at one time i just cant seem to note down everything tt im thinking. and in a understandable way at least. i hate thinking. jus i go for my run later again to keep myself occupied. hopefully. prolly gna do tis till i find myself all normal again. den i shall start things afresh. and work towards my goal. haha. ok not work. wait towards my goal den. err. both la. lol

sian but right now im jus sad la. still have the feeling of being cheated. tho i noe its not supposed to be and there surely has to be a reason behind that. i dowan to feel this way but i jus cant control it. tis is very selfish of me but AH. the point is just that i wanto get it over with as quickly as possible. rawr.

went out wif pr today.. vivo. was packed like crazy. hardly had any space to do anything. eh took a train dwn to harbour front. reached dere in quite awhle den we just went to random shops and looked. saw tis converse bag that ive decided on getting in queensway tis tues. basically didn do much there coz of time constraint. only had lie 2hrs to spend dere coz we had our own diff appointments aft tt. oh well. dere's always tues :D err cant recall much. other den on the way dere was a... oops. ok i shall not say la. i made a promise not to say anything here so i shall adhere to that promise. provided he doesn say anything abt the incident too. otherwise, SUA. LOL. see who more convincing. HAHA.

ok shall go down and run alrd. hope i feel btr aft tt. tmr shall be a bad day for me la. what is christmas even. shall be a reflective day for me.

byebye